Stop whining and let's get to work. And if you can’t let stuff go. Get over it! ‘Get over it’ has been my mantra for several years, since The Eagles released their “Hell Freezes Over” album in 1994.
It has become a family rule even for my two young boys. When they are crying and whining I tell them, “Crying helps nothing. Calm down, breathe and focus on the results you want to have.” Living in the emotion of the moment gets in your way. Whining in business demonstrates low emotional intelligence. We need to have emotional maturity so minor things do not become major speed bumps in our progress as leaders.
I turn on the tube and what do I see,
Ivan Pavlov, the Russian scientist who experimented with classical conditioning and most famous for the pairing of a ringing bell with feeding a dog. Eventually, when Pavlov would ring the bell and the dog would salivate thinking it would get fed, whether there was food available or not. Certain actions can cause base reactions in humans as well, but we do not have to react blindly.
As an example, if I leave for the day with a mutual understanding that Jimmy, my husband, will have the dishes done and when I get home, I expect the dishes will be done. If they are not, I have several options: I can get mad, I can become frustrated, I can break plates, I can throw things, or I can do the dishes myself. None of those options, however, result in the desired outcome – for Jimmy to do the dishes. It is in that moment you decide to make a choice, get over it and focus on the end result.
Victor Frankl, an Auschwitz survivor concentration camp and went on become a psychiatrist. He wrote a book titled, “Man’s Search for Meaning,” talking about the power of choice. Frankl says human beings can project into the future what they want to accomplish. They have the ability to choose in the moment how to respond to certain actions that will lead them to different results. That is a powerful choice. Admittedly, sometimes it is difficult not to get caught up in the emotional drama of a moment and to focus on what we truly want out of it.
Get over it with our Kick Ass Weekly Coaching.
In 2005, I began teaching at the College of Southern Nevada. On my first day, during my first presentation for a classroom full of students, I leaned on a table. The table toppled over and so did I. Colored markers flew everywhere, and the students gasped, wondering if I was okay. I stood up and could feel my face and neck burning red with embarrassment.
Walking to my car later, I felt very “woe is me,” and it struck me: What is the worst thing that could happen? That the students call their friends and share this hilarious mishap? Hell, I wanted to call my friends and tell them what happened myself. If I had let that feeling of self-pity take over, I would not be where I am today. We have to be able to move on and get over it, but, believe me, I do not lean on tables very often anymore.
In 2016, Jimmy and I decided to do a triathlon. Neither of us had competitive swimming experience, so we prepared by training as much as we could. On the day of the race there were strong winds on Lake Mead, which created some gnarly waves. When a nearby racer had a panic attack and had to be rescued, I began to have doubts, “Could I finish this?” I realized, the only way to get this done (and not drown) is to just keep swimming. Yes – I pulled a Dorie from Finding Nemo – but I got over it and finished the triathlon. That perseverance has served me well in the months since the race. If you are tired, know you are doing something for a purpose, so focus on the end and just swim
I could feel my face and neck burning red with embarrassment.
Ryan Stankovic is the Director of Quality Assurance at Hamilton Storage, and an analyst for Mitchell, Stankovic & Associates. He also happens to be my little brother! Ryan says the phrase “Get Over It” means, don’t dwell, on problems or your successes. “Move on with forward thinking rather than getting hung up on a problem,” he advised. “You have to always think about what is next. Instead of getting stuck on, ‘Look what I did,’ project your next course.”
In his job, the need for quality assurance is constant. Ryan does must take both corrective and preventative action, so he looks for root causes and accountability. He wants to see people owning their problems so issues can be fixed and everyone can move forward. Early in his career, Ryan worked in manufacturing. He recalls setting up a mold on a machine but failing to tie up the water hoses correctly. End result? He flooded the entire building! Ryan had to determine the problem, own the mistake and take action. And then, he moved on to the next mold.
Additionally, Ryan said, “The lesson learned in high-paced automation was you cannot dwell on anything. Every second the machine does not open and close is lost time and money. He continues to ask himself, ‘What are we doing now to make things right?’ and ‘What are you going to do to make up for the time that was lost?’”